(Things I agree with in bold)
You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that “why don’t you do it like we do it in Sweden?”
You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
You get guilty conscience from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.
You take your shoes off when entering a house.
You find the ads for Coca Cola during Christmas completely useless since no one would consider drinking any other soft drink than “julmust” during Christmas anyway.
You have a summerhouse in the countryside.
Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from Sweden, in which case its ok.
You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that’s only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
You thought wall-to-wall carpets were a concept of the past or the ferries to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
You find the idea of wall-to-wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
You consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.
You just love singing “snapsvisor” while drinking any kind of alcohol.
You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket.
You generally consider the pre-party better than the night out in a club that follows.
You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on stupid paper hats, drink vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
You always go “That’s not REAL snow” whenever it snows in countries that usually don’t get snow.
It’s raining and you hear yourself say your grandmother’s wise words, “There is no bad weather, just bad clothes”
You constantly have to point out that not EVERYONE in Sweden is blonde, in fact you add that most people are not.
IKEA is home away from home.
You find it OBVIOUS that a mile is 10 kilometers.
You consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
You think it’s perfectly normal to pay over 50 % of your income in taxes. – (not many earn that much though)
You go to the downtown during a Sunday and don’t expect to meet a single soul during a 30-minute walk.
You think its completely normal to at least have studied one year of German, one year of French and one year of Spanish.
You know almost every other country in the world as well as most capital cities, or have at least studied this for a Geography test.
Every time you see a Swedish brand/actor/company/phone/car/furniture store you feel compelled to point that out to your friends (with badly hidden pride in your voice).
You find teenage mums shocking and very strange; because you don’t know anyone who had a child before 25, and you thought that was young.
Lösgodis (pick ‘n’ mix) becomes more desirable than cigarettes.
Your parents pay you every month for not eat candy for a year (or so)
You in pure disgust try to tell your fellow peers that it’s basic human behavior to shower after PE and they look at you like you come from a different planet.
People say your name in fifty different ways, but no one can get it right.
You just love to ‘fika’, and know that it is an activity that is meant to last for hours and is not the equivalent of going for a coffee.
You instinctively spot ‘Swedes’ from a distance just based on looks and what they’re wearing.
You think going to the pub for a drink is a waste of time if you’re not going to get drunk.
You brag about the free healthcare and the free school system to every non-Swede that you have a political conversation with.
You have absolutely no idea what is meant by” Swedish massage” that keeps being advertised as a hot item in spas all over the world.
You’re not in Sweden you miss the hotdog stands where you can get a hotdog with shrimp salad when you have been out partying!
You celebrate Easter and Christmas a day before most other countries.
You know that real Easter eggs are not made of chocolate; they’re made of paper and filled with pick’n’mix (lösgodis)
Easter means decorating some twigs in a vase with colored feathers, eating herring and painted eggs, and of course, dressing up as a witch and knocking on random neighbors’ doors in hope of getting some candy.
You feel bad if you’re not outside on a sunny day.
You find it completely normal, when going to a pre-party (förfest) everyone has their Systembolaget-kasse in the fridge and notoriously keep track of which liquor is their liquor!